How to scare away squirrels from your house?

My house was always a cozy place to live in not only for me, but also for lizards, roaches, ants, mosquitoes, spiders and even birds (there was once a nest in the cup of the fan :p). All credits to our garden behind. Almost all of these made me scream and run around the house leaving my neighbors wonder if i am a lunatic :p But when a never visited friend squirrel arrived….

I was sitting in my couch and watching T.V, all the more..HOME ALONE. My little scary partner was on its way to the kitchen. I heard a feeble wired noise which made me turn, and there he was, staring at me. We were staring at each other. Neither of us moved for ‘god knows how much’ time. Suddenly I dropped my remote accidentally and he ran away. And I sat there dumbstruck!

I was scared to peep inside the kitchen. I also started thinking wired.. what if he comes and bites me? What if he comes with a flock of other friends? The very feeling made me shudder. I wanted help and…

I called my Grama..

“Hello…Grama there is a squirrel in the kitchen!”

“What?”

“Squirrel Grama,squirrel!”

“See..U didn’t come to Lord Ram’s temple when i called u no? He has sent his messenger to pick you up!”

“Grama, this is no time for revenge..tel me a way to scare it out”

“Don’t worry. It will get scared automatically by seeing a devil like u. By the way take care of the grains in the kitchen!”

“Much needed advice! bye!”

I called my cousin..

“Hello..kaushik there is a squirrel in my house!”

“What?”

“Squirrel yar!”

“That’s so cool!”

“What? there is nothing cool about it! tell me a way to get rid of it”

“Hmmm…let me think! Idea! Go ask the squirrel 1000 bucks for staying in your house and it will run away!”

“Throw your stupid brain in the dust bin! bye!”

i called my brother…

“Esha there is a squirrel in our house yar!”

“A wat?”

“Squirrel”

“Really?”

“Hey take care of it. Don’t let it run away!”

“Huh? Y?”

“We can give a pose with him and update our profile picture in fb…I bet i will get a 100 likes”

“U must go check with the doctor!”

“y?”

“paagal ho gaya tum..Ja!”

i was totally vexed and tried google and it asked me to use pest killers. I didn’t actually want to do it. When i was surfing, a probably mad person had written..

“Close all the exits when the mama squirrel is out and try baking squirrel pie”

Disgusting..isn’t it?

Finally when my friend called…

“What’s up sara?”

“Please.. I am in no mood to talk.. I will call you later”

“What happened yar?”

“There is a squirrel in my house” (I told this totally flat..I was exhausted!)

“Really?”

“YES”

“Scare it out na?”

“I have already heard all the ridiculous ideas. Now please you don’t start”

“But listen. I have a really good idea! Turn on your lappy and play VISHWAROOPAM film with full DTS sound effects. It will automatically run away by hearing all those dishum dishum do do do do do sounds”

And guess what? It finally worked 😀

Crazy? Try it! :p

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