My soul across the sea

Listening to your cracked laugh
Over that long distance telephone line
I knew how cruel happiness could be
When a loved one was not near.

We buried our tears in each others smile
Trying to shatter the miles between us.

Midnight phone calls became lifelines
Our hushed tones carried by the wind
Flying across the night sky
Treasured in the stars.

 

What ripped my heart more
Were your letters
Bringing back your scent
A sense of you.

Your words scrawled on a bluish paper
So much, yet so less.

Reading those letters were an effort
With overflowing emotions
The words along every crease
Unveiling folded memories.

 

The nights were never easy though
Fear and anxiety looming overhead
With insecurities so close by
The dark clouds ready to rain any minute.

Yet, when the phone rang again
Why did my heart jump the slightest bit?

Why did all those fears fade?
Where did my questions vanish?
What did we hold on to?
Hope, may be, for the dark days to pass.

 

I often drew you in my dreams
Closing my eyes
Feeling you just here, near me
Your smell filling my mind.

The dreams were inviting
While soaring the hidden ache.

But honey, the good days are not far away!
When you come back to rest by my side
My head nestled on your shoulder
Your hand twirled around mine
Let’s bury all of those worries
And dance to the rhythm of our hearts!

….Sara

 

P.S: The inspiration for this poem is from the book ‘Americanah’ by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. The challenges faced by students migrating from Nigeria to UK or the US are heart-wrenching. The clash of their dreams and reality, staying oceans apart from their loved ones, and their harrowing experiences could not have been expressed better. I had to stop and write to get the sadness out of my heart. I am just halfway through the book yet love it already!

A magic called hope!

Walking down the same path

Too many memories

To tip and fall right over.

Afraid to make the wrong decisions

We’re too scared to get up and walk

Even when there’s a whole new path.

But hey, we’ve all got just one life

Ticking minutes and seconds

Why’d we have to miss it for our fears?

As the winds chime

And the bells ring

Let’s hang on to one magic- hope!

The high-heeled stranger

Smoke veiled the crowded room

The air thick, smelling whiskey

The jukebox blaring country music.
 

I sat in a corner, hidden from the shimmer

Almost like a ghost, disguised in the dark.
 

The snow out the window, mild and crisp

Building up to cover the hoods

Lights from the traffic buzzing around.
 

There she hopped, out of her car

A red Cadillac, cigarette in hand.
 

Long legs parading in clicking high heels

The flicker of her lighter sparking up eyes

Making heads turn, words hanging mid-air.
 

Oh she’d never notice, this shrouded soul

Concealed in the corner, oblivious to the world.
 

As she walks past, I bury my eyes in beer

Oops! She stops, pulling the chair across

One leg on the other, blowing out the smoke.
 

‘How are you?’, the words come my way

As I tilt to see her eyes, naughtily sedating.
 

‘Oh, good!’, I stutter, heart failing to beat

The hair on my arms standing upright

‘How good?’, she chuckles, a wink on its way

The gloomy clown just walked away.
 

All again?

There was a slight drizzle
And the clouds dark
Warning a bigger shower.

So was my heart
Wandering in the gloom
Warning another downpour.

The new path was all welcoming
Painted new and glossy
For never once did I see beyond those walls.

I walked on to reach the same spot
A haunting familiarity clutching my chest
Remote, stranded and shuddering again.

The heart is so influencing  
Shutting off the brain at times
Leaving behind a needy, vulnerable mess.

Tell me, why do we repeat our mistakes?
We go back when we know we should’ve not?
Do we learn our lessons right?

A mess without you

Too many cobwebs tangled in my mind,

Too tired to clear, this kind.

I try to uncoil, one thought a time,

But fall for the never ending loop again.
 

Pondering over those grueling thoughts,

Too much melancholy to tend.

The heart-aches and broken wings,

Neither of us spared by the end.
 

Should I blame the fate or destiny, my love?

As I’m stranded here, a mess without you.

Uninvited mornings

Curled up in bed from yesterday’s disaster

The early morning, an uninvited guest.
 

Swollen eye lids and a broken heart,

Never budging to heal any sooner.
 

Climate out the window, paying no mercy,

What’s more aching is when you cannot afford to cry.

To the misty mountain

I pick up a lost trial, follow it along,

Ducking the branches of massive trees

Hiding under their bough, escaping the drizzle.

 

All of the leaves, plush green

cradling tiny droplets of water

Bent in the spine, yet never broken.

 

A thick canopy atop plays peak-a-boo

with the sparse rays of the sun

Hidden behind cottony clouds.

 

‘Where am I headed?’, you may ask.

‘To the misty mountain, who stands tall

With an angel’s halo aglow’, I’d say.

 

She’s too tall and wide

For my little feet to totter all the way up

Yet the mysterious aura, soothing and inviting.

 

How long have you been here, my misty mountain,

Tell me your stories as I scale your height,

Lift me up in every dip and down.

Flame and fire

Fear from her past emanates back

Teasing the long forgotten wounds

Replaying the agonising pain.

 

Like fire, it embraces with greedy hands

Licking every inch of her body and soul

Turning everything it touches into dust.

 

She struggles to breathe with the ashes all around

The sudden darkness engulfing her day

She prays for a little light along her way.

 

And when the light emerges back

Don’t run with a blind eye, my dear

For a little flame is all which makes fire.

Dancing in her dreams

The thunderous rain has just stopped
Leaving behind a soothing silence.
Her soft breath is all I can hear
As sleep engulfs her tender eyelids.

I breathe along
To the rise and fall of her chest.
Admiring her angelic face
A soothing peace spreading in me.

Never did I know
My eyes would dance to those hips.
Never did I know
She’d sway my heart that way.

When she walked into my life
I wished for her to stay.
When she held my hand
I wished to never let go.

Her messy morning hair
Imperfectly perfect.
Her lopsided smile
Dotingly warm.

I could stay here all my life
Right by her side
Watching her lips curl in sleep
Hoping it is me dancing in her dreams!

 

Flashing-back

The rain lashes my windshield

As I halt in the morning traffic.

A numbing cold engulfs my body

Adding to the winter chills.

 

The mist surround me like clouds above the sky

Lifting me up as I float like a dream.

Somewhere between, my melancholy bone gets hit

As your memories occupy all of my mind.

 

You walked so swift into my life

For one moment you were all that I had.

When you walked out too quick for me to reach

I toppled down, breaks and scratches left behind.

 

The lone world was not easy on me

Neither did it have any mercy for me.

The demons knew the dark too well

Creeping up untold, clinging in despair.

 

How many sleepless nights did I embrace?

How many unspoken fears did I discover?

Yet, how did the pieces manage to fall back?

How did the undiscovered strength alight?

 

Should I be grateful or oblivious?

I would never know.

As the traffic clears to move ahead,

So do I, or so I believe.

 

….Sara